Let's get ready for some serious shift. This is a podcast shifting Inside Out hosted by your quantum shifter, Angela McCourt, we are diving into ways to empower and enable a quantum shift. Inspiring topics hacks and guest speakers take us on a journey around authenticity, challenging status quo, personal power and living a purpose filled life. I really wanted to educate a bit on on self talk, as well as just expose my inner critic. So, you know, you're not alone. Everybody has this inner critic. And one of the things that I wanted to really do was give some options on how to tame it. And this is some of the work that I've been doing over the years. And I found it to be so helpful. So what is self talk? self talk is basically your inner dialogue, it's your internal way of kind of looping things and connecting things and how you can rationalize it really, in your own mind using your own internal representations, the world around you. And self talk can be positive, which that is where you might actually hear maybe some of your intuition kind of coming through and you're taking actions on you're making decisions with some of that positive self talk. But more than not, it's negative. And it's something like 60 70% of the self talk that you hear is negative. And really, what this does is this can cause you to one, either hold yourself back to kind of always be in this state of victim, or three, it really can crush your confidence and just kind of keep you from being able to make decisions in a way that you absolutely are capable of doing. And what's really interesting about self talk, and I always say that the word assumption is kind of a bad word. I call it a four letter word. And really, when if you were to think about a time when you had maybe sent somebody a message, and you didn't get a response, and all of the sudden, your mind starts saying something happened to them, or they're mad at you, or whatever the reason is, they don't want anything to do with you, whatever it is that that then became a story that then became this train Brain Train going on in your head. And it was all an assumption, it was just based on you filling in the blanks, because you didn't get a response right away. And so you know, other things that can happen. Just you know, let's say you didn't get a promotion, or you didn't get put on a project, not necessarily promotion. But let's say you didn't get put on a project. And you're thinking, Well, it's because I'm not, you know, at the top of the chain, or because I'm not capable, or my boss doesn't think I can do it. And in reality, they actually are concerned with how much work you've taken on. And they're just trying to protect you. But when the communication isn't open, a lot of times we fill in things with assumptions. So sometimes it's really quick and easy. Go find the truth, go ask the question, why didn't I get that I really wanted that, then you open up the conversation, and you can fill in the blanks with truth instead of assumption. So that's one way when we think about how self talk can get legs basically, and how it can actually, especially in the negative side, really, really start to take over who we are and our mind in our thoughts. And it creates then how we feel about you know, either others, and maybe some judgment that could come into that, because we're making these assumptions, it can definitely have an impact on our self esteem and confidence as well. So when you think about then the impact to authenticity, and how we can have the opportunity to show up in the workplace or in life, it really does impact how we do that. So there are some opportunities to really start to tame that self talk to shift the words that you're using, to really kind of become aware when it is good self talk and negative self talk. And one of the things when you start to have maybe some of that negative self talk coming in is it's coming from a place actually in the brain that is activated for our inner critic, and our inner critic is one who definitely can have a big impact on us. So let me just read you about mine. So Fred, my inner critic, page 67. Why did I say that? That was stupid. I'm not smart enough to figure that out. Crap. What did I do now? They don't find this presentation. Interesting. He must be upset with me for something. I'll never get offered a promotion. I should just look for a new job. I never fit in. I'm such an idiot. Why didn't I just be patient? There's no way he's gonna call me again. I'm a loser. Why am I so clumsy? I'm a fraud. The harder I try, the worse it gets. Just give up. I screwed up. If I speak my mind, they'll think I'm a bitch. I'm a failure. I'm not. If I speak my mind, they'll think I'm a bitch. I'm a failure. I'm not meant to win and succeed. I'm not enough. I need to make sure I know what I'm talking about. Before I open my mouth, nobody cares what I have to say. Suck it up and quit bitching. Don't be lazy. I can always do more good moms don't get frustrated this easily. Other people don't care about me, I'll always fail. It doesn't matter how hard I tried. When I'm doing what I'm doing won't work. It's my fault. Meet Fred, my inner critic. He's short and stocky, and has a whiny voice. He's a No at all and really freaking annoying. He likes to cut me off. And we'll just keep digging in and digging in. This is how he gets my attention and why I no longer take him seriously. So it's interesting, because when I started working on my inner critic a few years ago, one of the best pieces of advice was making tangible, make it make it tangible, so that you can recognize, you know, your inner voice, like that's a good voice, and the inner critic. And so I decided to make him very frustrating so that I could separate out what was happening there. And instead of like tying in and, and connecting into what that inner critic and what Fred was saying, I would basically start challenging it then, because now I can recognize that it was him. And so I used a whiny voice, I made him so short and stocky, and I call them Fred, Fred was an easy name. No, don't, don't take it offense, if your name is Fred, I only know a couple of Fred's in my whole life. But, um, and it's not based on you. But what you can do is there are two different ways you can kind of bring your inner critic to life, you create it like an avatar, and you give it like a look, you give it a personality, you give it a name, you give it a voice, you give it you know, basically this persona, and you can make it very kind and compassionate. Or you can if frustration motivates you to say, oh, that's enough, which is me, then, you know, you can make it like how I have Fred, which is very annoying, so that I can I can, you know, recognize him. So it's interesting, because this is one tactic that you can use to kind of tame the inner critic. And then as soon as they start, you know, you don't engage it, you recognize you let the float you let the words that he's saying float away. And then what I'll do is I'll I come back with, okay, when is that actually been true before? And then I'll say to myself, Okay, who have I seen that true with? And then I'll say it isn't true. And then what is the truth, and then I'll actually come up with a truth statement. And then that kind of overrides. And as you do this more and more and more, you basically tame down the inner critic, which is very cool. Now, here's the other way to approach it. And we've tested this out with some of my group members and living purposeful, because, you know, some of them, their inner voice is softer, their inner voice isn't so harsh. It isn't so much a critic, it's usually guiding them. And so what you can do is if that voice does start to pop up, you you basically talk to it and like third person, so for instance, I would say, okay, Angie, is that really true? Like what are you saying? Is that something that I should actually take seriously? Or is that something that is just being constructed in my mind, and using your name and talking to yourself in third person is a really great way because now again, here's what you're doing, you're separating that inner critic or that inner voice from you and your identity. So this is the this is the trick. How do you separate that and you might find some other techniques as well but I have those in the make the shift in that section in chapter eight. So I hope you enjoy this if you haven't bought the book yet. It's called Love your gifts permission to revolutionize authenticity in the workplace. You have a free workbook that's integrative so you can do all of these make your shifts. That's why this is called a transformational nonfiction book. Enjoy